Waiting for Guidance Can Be Hard
Have you ever known what you needed to do and just been unable to do it?
That’s where I have been for the last 7 weeks.
What I am talking about here is far beyond the normal procrastination that we all face from time to time. You know, the kind that gets the laundry folded and the sock drawer straightened. I call that creative procrastination – it produces something useful even as it allows you to avoid doing something important that you really don’t want to do.
What happened for me this fall was quite different.
I had a plan to open the enrollment period for my upcoming trip to Egypt way back at the beginning of September. If you follow me on Facebook or read my emails, you know I have been hinting at it for weeks now. I even reached out to several of you for feedback on my sales page. But I just couldn’t complete the launch!
It wasn’t because I didn’t want to. I desperately wanted to get the ball rolling. I have had people in Egypt, dear friends that I love, counting on me to send them the payments needed to secure our travel plans. I have a high-dollar contract that I am obliged to fulfill. But still, when I would sit down to write the enrollment email there was no energy there. Not. One. Drop.
The Power of Patience
Over the past couple of years, and even more deeply this summer, I have shifted how I work away from being directed by my ego’s needs and instructions into acting from my Soul. Sometimes it can be hard to differentiate between when my ego is scared and doesn’t want to act, and when my Soul is certain it isn’t time to act. But I have gotten much better at telling the difference.
Usually if my ego is scared I get a jolt of excitement along with the fear because I know by acting anyway I will cross a threshold, break through a limitation, and expand my consciousness - even if it's hard. But when my Soul is balking, it feels completely different, like someone just let all the air out of my balloon.
Day after day, week after week, I was guided to wait. And wait. And wait some more. So I did.
For the most part I would pivot to work on other tasks. I created three episode for my new video blogging series which was super fulfilling. I attended some beautiful retreats to fill my tank and nurture myself. I visited with friends, and successfully completed my first vendor event. I also launched, filled, and co-facilitated Bliss Camp with the magnificent Cyndi Swall in Kansas City. Such a Blast!
I was determined to trust my Soul and the guidance I feel comes from Source, The Divine, The Goddess, or whatever you call the Organizing Intelligence.
But as things go, eventually I began to doubt. I actually wondered whether I was even supposed to go to Egypt again, all the while feeling the engine of desire still roaring inside of me.
After all, I know well how powerful this sacred pilgrimage is, and I was excited to return for more.
Still, She made me wait.
Until at last, I woke up last week very clear that I needed to invite my good friend and publisher Jane Ashley of Flower of Life Press to join me and my co-facilitator Tj Bartel on this journey. I had a vision of how, with her help, the participants could deepen their experience by capturing it in a chapter to be published in one of Jane’s exquisite collaborative books about the wonder of Sacred Journeys. The vision was so clear I took immediate action and called her.
The conversation was electric. Jane felt a strong and immediate YES! In less than 10 minutes we had agreed to collaborate and worked most of the details of how we would do it. My heart soared and my Soul danced!
Later that day I went on a walk and, as is my habit while walking, I talked to the Goddess. I thanked Her for the inspiration and alignment I felt and for the gift of Jane in my life. I thanked Her for yet another powerful lesson around trusting my guidance, even when it seems nuts to do so. I thanked Her for making it next to impossible to actually act when there is no air in my balloon. And then I whined a little and made a request, “Do you think next time it might not have to be so hard?”
I felt my Soul (or Wiser, Higher Self) chuckle. Answer: Maybe, maybe not.
I am so grateful to have cultivated a relationship with this part of myself. I am grateful that I can sense, feel, hear, and notice when my energy is off and I need to wait, or when my energy is clear and I need to act. And I am grateful that I have enough shadow work experience to be able to know when it’s my ego holding me back and I need to use the tools I have to shift that.
Since getting the green light from my Soul and talking with Jane, I have had vast amounts of energy show up, as well as super inspiring ideas. In just one week, Jane and I have already filled over half of the places for this trip just with a few Facebook posts and a Zoom video call. And we expect it will be completely full by the end of next week.
It’s been fun and full of flow and ease! And both of us are on track to have one of the fastest sell-outs of our professional careers.
I share this story as a testament to how valuable and worthwhile it is to cultivate the capacity to heed the guidance and direction of our Soul. In hindsight it’s obvious why the energy wasn’t there to launch. I couldn’t open enrollment for the trip because it wasn’t ready yet.
This is the difference between using Fight to “make something happen” and aligning with Flow to allow the inspired action to unfold. This is topic of my chapter in the latest collaborative book in the best-selling Feminine Evolutionary Series, Set Sail, by Flower of Life Press.
So if you have been in the process of shifting yourself away from staying busy and pushing hard into working when guided to take aligned action, I whole heartedly encourage you to stay the course. It’s well worth it even when it’s scary and difficult.
All my love,