Rima Bonario, Th.D
Thanks for stopping by and visiting with me. If you were here with me in person, I'd offer you a cosy chair and a cup of tea, and we would exchange stories to get to know each other.
I am honored to share my story with you, and I hope you will share yours with me too...
I’m Dr. Rima Bonario, author, workshop leader, soul coach and wild heart healer. My doctorate is in Transformational Psychology (Th.D.) and I’ve been working in personal development for close to 20 years. In the last five years, I’ve been concentrating on working with women in mid-life - primarily because I’m a woman in mid-life!
As I ventured into this new life stage, I experienced challenges that I didn’t see coming.
Maybe you’ve felt them too.
I’d always been a vibrant, energetic and sensual person, but I found myself feeling so exhausted from building my business, caring for my daughter, my home, and trying to take care of myself - that being intimate with my beloved husband became just one more thing on my to-do list.
Just another chore.
And I was really trying to get rid of things on my to-do list! So, it fell by the wayside.
I was so focused on being a good mother and businesswoman, I was neglecting this other, very important, part of myself - which is one reason why I started on this journey to understand how to live more richly, more vibrantly, and more sensually as a woman in mid-life.
But there are other reasons why I feel called to put women back in touch with their passion - passion for life, passion for partners, passion for themselves.
Ladies, we’ve been sold a bill of goods about this time in our lives. Our society, even our own doctors, tell us that this is the new normal:
Once we hit menopause, or perimenopause, our bodies quit producing the lubrication we need to have enjoyable sex. Maybe you’ve experienced some of this ‘drying up.’ And there are other things too...
Sleeping well is a thing of the past.
Hot flashes, the radical shifts in temperature, and night sweats are a given.
Lower sex drive.
This is not the new normal.
These physical symptoms are absolutely real, but they don’t have to become our ‘new normal.’ We can be more sensual and energized now than we’ve ever been.
But we also have to address the impact those physical symptoms have on our own minds and hearts, our perceptions of ourselves, and on our relationships with our beloveds. Too often, we start to believe that these changes are inevitable and permanent. And then, because we believe it, they are.
Really though, these are markers of a powerful and empowering transition that is anything BUT dry.
If you know how to tap into your own feminine life-force energy (Shakti), learn to balance giving with receiving, and forge a relationship with your new, powerful female archetype.
Before I found these pathways, all I knew is that I deeply loved my husband and it was disturbing to me that I wasn’t able to open myself to him physically in the ways I desperately wanted to.
I also knew that I felt drained, and was losing touch with my vibrancy.
I had forgotten to receive, if I ever really knew how...Like so many women, I had been giving so much of myself.
We give so much of ourselves - to our children, our parents, our communities, our careers. It’s no wonder that it feels like we’re giving OUT!
What I found is that I did not understand the importance of receiving: energetically, spiritually, and physically receiving.
Receiving is hard for most of us. We have hearts made for giving. We love to give. We give to demonstrate our love. And it can be hard to let others do things for us.
But when we give, it drains our energy. Literally. A woman's body is energetically not designed to give indefinitely. So we have to pair it with receiving, or we’ll reach the edges of our capacity and end up feeling bone-tired.
Maybe you’re already there - I certainly was.
But one of the secrets I’ve found to feeling juicy, charged and alive is to practice receiving (and it does take practice!).
Women love to give, but we are made to receive. And when we balance the two, we can tap into a wellspring of feminine energy that has just begun to fully flourish.
That was my first step towards embracing this new chapter of my life.
The second step was when I found The Queen.
Meeting The Queen
In all of my work in personal development, I ran into the three female archetypes you’re probably also familiar with: The maiden, the mother, and the crone.
Well, at 50 I’m no maiden.
And while I am a mother, the most active part of my mothering life is coming to a close (according to my daughter anyway, who is now in high school).
You don’t have to have a child to have a ‘mothering’ phase - it’s the period in your life when you’re at your most creative and productive, whether you’re birthing ideas, businesses or careers. It requires a huge amount of energy and focus.
But I’m not ready to be the crone!
We need a fourth archetype to bridge the long and luscious space between the Mother and the Wise Woman. We need the archetype of The Queen.
"The Queen, though not yet old, is quite aware that the passing of time is no longer in Her favor. She is not concerned with the business of winding down Her life, but rather with living it to the max before it is too late.
She bursts into glorious flame like a dramatic sunset in the western sky...She is ignited with a fiery patina, glowing from within. She is the fire we have been missing."
- Donna Henes
We are in the midst of an archetypal transition that has been overlooked by the patriarchy because The Queen is too powerful, too independent. She is in a position to own her sovereignty.
Don’t you feel more sure of yourself and more powerful now than you’ve ever felt before? Are you tapping into a potent power you are ready to express?
We’re at a point in our lives where we can once again step forward into the spotlight as in our , fully in touch with our feminine power and wisdom.
It’s good to be the queen.
When I found The Queen, so much of my life made more sense. I wasn’t ready to retire into being the wise woman on the fringes of life.
I was ready to come out into the world in a much bigger and broader way, focus on myself and my gifts, and take responsibility for my life force energy.
This is our time to turn our life-force energy on and take center stage.
With The Queen, receiving, and getting in touch with my Shakti - that sensual, life force energy we all have - I found my life transforming in ways I could never have predicted.
I want to share these insights with you so you can embody your feminine power and bring more fun, more spice, and a dash of mischief into your life.
I’m here to tell you:
Our bodies can do incredible things.
We can have all the (creative, spiritual, sexual, energetic) lubrication we need -
in fact, this can be the juiciest time of our lives.
We still have a powerful reservoir of sexual energy and potency that’s available to us, if we just know how to tap into it.
Explore the courses I offer and see how you too can feel turned on by life again!
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